This blog is written by a lady who enjoys providing Erotic Naturist Massages in Kent

I am a lady who enjoys giving erotic naturist massages in Kent -a specialist Lingam Massage, Kent, UK.

BT Internet users read this

Emailing me? Read this:
I reply to all my emails. If you do not receive a reply from me please check your spam or it may be lost in the world of wifi....
I answer the phone Mon-Fri at about 9am.

Monday, 17 December 2012

only 4 massage days left until Christmas!

I am getting quite a few enquiries about my availability in the run up to the big day. Well, Friday will be the very last day for a lingam massage with me before 25th...
Then I plan to over indulge in food and TV and seeing friends & family and all that!
 Friday afternoon is still available and there are a couple of other times that I could still fit in a new client this week.
I haven't decided when to start work again.  I have got some bookings in the last two week of January so i might make the most of it with a long break or I might take clients at the end of December... email me!

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Male pampering with a Xmas Sexy Lingam Massage

For the beginning of December my diary is looking quite busy as men are seeking a bit of winter relaxation - what better than a full body massage by a naked lady!  I will be keeping my house warm and cosy in contrast to that weather out there.
Of course I will be having a few days off for the Festive Season - so my last booking before Xmas must be Friday 21st.
But I am not having a 2 week holiday - I am pleased to be able to offer sexy sessions for those who want to see me between Christmas and New Year.  So the perfect Christmas holiday treat for yourself!

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Day of Relaxation for Me

It is no good calling me now, I won't be answering! I am having a lovely day off... and the sun is shining too! I'll only tell you what I'm doing it you email me!

I have also had last minute cancellations, which means the day off today may end up being a very long weekend.  I will be sitting by the phone tomorrow and Friday, available for last minute, spur of the moment, "can you see me now it's an emergency" type calls.

most people who phone wanting to see me the same day are used to hearing me say - "Sorry - You best Book in Advance."

I am not working this weekend, I don't often work at the weekends but do just occasionally take advanced bookings for a Sat or Sun.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

I am OK, thanks for your concern

Thank you to those who who emailed with well wishes after my previous post about my cough & cold.  How kind and totally unexpected.  Well the cough dragged on and on and on.
Now, I am very well and still busy providing the Lingam Massage service that you have been looking for.
Let me take this opportunity to emphasis - if you phone me and get no answer please do NOT leave a message as I do not usually listen to them.  Send a txt message and I might reply. Send an email and I will definitely reply. If you need to speak to me call me again another time. Most of the questions you might have are answered on my website, see the link above.

Appointments in advance work well and sometimes I am available at short notice, but not usually.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Not so Sexy Husky Cough

I have developed a summer cough and cold.  I don't normally sound so gruff or so quiet!  We don't think of the summer as being sniffles season though it often is, in the same way as I notice I often have to turn on the central heating in August.
Luckily, so far it has been lovely and warm this month - figures crossed, long may it remain.
I am having a few days off work right now.
A holiday at home but with no massages, so hopefully i will be fit for the lingam massage appointments that are already in my diary for next week.


Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Nervous about Booking a Sexy Massage

No need to be! I do this all the time. I regularly speak to men and see men who want the same sexy massage that you have in mind.
After extensive research you might think that what I offer sounds perfect - I am mature and I promise you that I don't do fast/ rush sessions.  If you only have an hour then I will not be able to fit you in. I can't work that fast!
Then there is the biggest hurdle.  It is easy to communicate with me via email (unless you are using BT - You will not receive my reply because I use yahoo).  I reply to everyone often often the same day or before 8am the next morning....
But - perhaps you want the reassurance of speaking to me in person - to check that I have the friendly voice to go with the photos.
There is the problem.  I have a busy life, which means I am rarely sitting by the phone.  I do not answer when I am with a client.  When there are no clients booked I may well be out and about.  You may be lucky and I pick up straight away when you call. Or you might have to be persistent.

And what are the chances of getting an appointment at short notice?  Well today, for example, there is a window of opportunity this afternoon about 3pm. Tomorrow (Thursday) I am can do a session any time, same Sat and Sunday. But not Friday this week.

Monday, 23 July 2012

Hot Erotic Massage in the Summer

I am not going away this summer so will be available for erotic lingam massage bookings throughout August.  If it stays lovely, hot and sunny like today, this will be perfect for relaxing on the massage couch.

Of course I will have some days off, go to the beach, etc.. So it is advisable to book in advance.  You might not be able to get hold of me for a short notice/ same day appointment.

Monday, 16 July 2012

Relaxing summer holiday naturist massage in Kent

I will be available for lingam massage erotic naturist massages throughout the summer months.  I will be having a few days off though so enquiring and booking in advance is always advisable.
I am still available some weekends, but not evenings.

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Multi-Orgasmic Man

Just got time to tell you about one of my clients last week.  When his session was finished he told me he had the most amazing sensations.  He felt several orgasms through his body, perhaps 5.
Another satisfied customer for my erotic lingam massage!

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

WHY I didn't reply to your email request for a lingam Massage booking

Actually I reply to all genuine email enquiries but have found some problems:
if you email me from a BT internet account when i reply they redirect it to your Yahoo email.  As BT & yahoo are the same company, problem, of course, you might not even know about or use your yahoo email.

Other people may find my replies go into spam.

I do check and reply throughout the day and normally every morning before 8am. Excluding holidays.

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Last minute cancellations for erotic massage appointment

It does happen so although I am not available at all on Friday I suddenly find myself free all day on Thursday so it is always worth phoning or emailing on the off chance that there is a same day session free.

And as it is June, the start of summer, I have, of course, been putting the central heating on to keep the room warm for the men. Lying cold and naked in exceptional June weather is not a great feeling for a lingam massage session.  So I am trying to create something sensual, warm and cosy.

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Full body Orgasm

A few days ago one of my most satisfied customers insisted I should tell you that he experienced an amazing, prolonged orgasm all over his body.  He was trembling all over, for ages.

I told him he could leave his own comments but he wanted me to tell you.  But being typically English and modest, I can't promise to make the ground move for everyone.

I do find every client is different.  So your experience of the sensual lingam massage will depend on all that has gone before, in your life, to bring you to this point.

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Allow plenty of EXTRA time to really relax

Most of my clients visit when they have no work for the rest of the day, this is ideal.  Some don't realise that they are not going to be in a fit state for returning to work straight away.
Just because the session you have booked is 90 minutes of 2 hours you really should allow an extra hour "floating time".
This might be falling asleep on my massage table then getting dressed in a daze and floating out of my door to a local cafe or just to sit in your car and hold on to that feeling just a little bit longer.
Think of Lingam Massage as a special treat for a day off, not a quickie to be shoe-horned into a long lunch break!

Friday, 18 May 2012

Getting through o the Phone for more details about the Sexy Naturist Massage in East Kent

On Wednesday this week a man phoned me at about 9 and within 2 hours he was naked on my massage couch.  Minutes later I spoke to someone else who made an appointment for 9.30 the next day.

I know it can seem impossible to get through on the phone but keep trying I do answer the phone when I can. BUT I don't answer when I am with clients or busy with other people. Between 8.30am and 1.30pm is best time to call.

Another man i spoke to this week was looking for a same-day appointment but I couldn't fit him in.  He almost begged, he could be here in 20 minutes and just stay for an hour.... I'm sorry but I don't work like that and I have never had a client leave within an hour.

My availability page on this blog may give some clues. For example next week if you phone soon after 8.30 on Monday, Wednesday or Thursday you could get an appointment the same day. I won't be answering the phone Tue 22nd May in morning.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Want to speak to me? Want to book a Lingam Massage in Kent?

I will be available on the phone from about 8.30 am -9 ish tomorrow and I have time available in the next couple of days.  So if you want an erotic naturist massage Thur 3rd or Fri 5th May get in touch.
Also Tue through to Fri next week I have at least 1 session available every day.

Monday, 16 April 2012

Where to go for an Erotic Naturist Massage In Kent?

I think there are a good number of individuals and venues offering naturist massages and erotic massages.  In my experience the demand is high.  Only last week one of my clients was surprised when I told him that the demand for my time often is greater than the hours I have available.

OK, there are days lie today when I don't see any clients, no one calls e even though I do have time to see just one person.  But then other days, unfortunately, I have to tell guys I am fully booked - as I am for the rest of this week and today is Monday! Actually I may have a free slot for Friday but can't confirm that until Thursday.

As one thing leads to another so as I am fully booked it relates to the fact that it is difficult to get me on the phone.  Most of my clients book by email so I recommend this easier method.  There have been a few problems with my replies being lost in their spam or in one case I replied to a BT email but the reply is diverted by the internet service provider to a Yahoo email.  How confusing is that.  So if you have BT do check your yahoo!
I always reply to my emails, except for that family who keep wanting to deposit millions of USD via my bank account!

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Look in Your Spam Box for My Replies to Your Emails

There has been a breakdown of communication with one or two clients.
Some people have emailed me but had no reply - if I receive your email I will definitely reply so check your spam.
BTW, I do check my spam and quite a few of your emails go there.
Now, I will not be doing an emails over the Easter weekend so don't expect to here from me until perhaps Monday night or Tuesday morning.
Have a good Easter xxx

Friday, 30 March 2012

Can't Get To Speak to me on the phone but want to book Lingam Massage

Check my availability first.  I only answer the phone at limited times, ie after 8.30 am, if not otherwise engaged.

Obviously I don't answer when with a client and also things may come up at the last moment (as happened Wed & Thur this week).
I reply to all emils so that is a definite way of making contact.

If you can't email. Just keep trying to get through by phone.  Some people do manage to make apts by phone. Most apt are booked in advance but some peope do get short notice same day appointments too.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Can I fall asleep after the sexy nude massage?

I have noticed there are two types of men. There are those who jump up when the massage is over and in to their clothes so fast to go out and tackle the world.
Then there is the majority, they lie back when their time is up.  They really relax and sometimes do drift of to sleep.
Either way is OK with me.  I allow plenty of time between lingam massage appointments so that you do not have to rush out if you want a little time to savour the experience.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Men looking for a Sexy Nude Massage may not have considered a Lingam Massage

To my mind massage does not = sexy but many people seem to thing it is a euphemism for sexual activities. A lingam massage, on the other hand, by definition involves stoking and caressing the penis.  My price structure, being between £160 to £190, reflects the pleasant environment, that I am also nude and the time dedicated to your pleasure.

For those looking for a sexy nude massage I really don't think you will find any better anywhere else.

Certainly, however, you will find people who charge lower prices, who are aiming to massage 5-10 men per day, who need you to be out within 45-60 minutes - so then you are not comparing like with like.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Indulge Yourself with an Erotic Lingam Massage in Kent

Interesting insight today from one of my clients.  He said it seems selfish to simply lie back and enjoy - but he had obviously read my blog as well as the website and he knew that is exactly what happens here.
So he shut his eyes and let himself just enjoy my hands on his body.
At the end of the session he also took my advise and stayed on the massage table for perhaps 20 minutes or so, relaxing, drifting in and out of sleep and enjoying the music.  Very few men jump up and run away.  Warning - don't be in a hurry to get back to work!

I don't think selfishness comes in to it.  I think my erotic massage is a ME-TIME pampering session for a special treat, now and again.  It is not a way of life and not something you would want to do everyday.

Monday, 19 March 2012

How to Make an appointment for a Lingam Massage in Kent

I get many emails asking how to make an appointment and it is simple as that, just email me! Most people do book in advance, sometimes weeks ahead and most people do make all the arrangements by email.  This all works most efficiently.

For those who do not want to use email, I am sorry I am hard to get hold of.  
I only answer the phone in the day time Mon-Fri from 8.30ish and most of the time it will go to ansa-phone because I am busy.  I only see 1 or at most 2 clients a day for Lingam Massages but these sessions are often for 2 hours.  

I do not make arrangements by Txt message and I do not usually reply to Texts (except to a client who has a session booked).  And please don't leave an ansa-phone message because I do not listen to those.

Once we have successfully made phone contact it should be easier from there. I do see a number of people who only contact me by phone.

Monday, 12 March 2012

Erotic Massage with No Touching Please!

The vast majority of my clients have come to lay back and enjoy what is done to them, which is what they are supposed to do.
But now and again I get the odd man with wandering hands - I can only say this spoils it for them because it is annoying and distracting for me.  How can I focus on giving them a great time when I am being tickled, trying to dodge the hands, etc...?
There is Nothing on my website to suggest I will be cuddling or laying on top of the clients.  It also does not suggest or imply that fondling of any part of my body will be welcome.

What I want to say to those men is, No matter how innocent it may seem, when you gently hold my knee or my elbow it tickles and it prevents me going about what I was doing. It actually stops me giving you the lovely time you have paid for.

In perspective, I've only had 2 clients in the past 3 months with uncontrollable hands.  Most men are delighted to be totally passive, receiving all the pleasure, however, who knows what might be going on in their minds...

Sunday, 4 March 2012

A 2 Hour Erotic Lingam Massage or Just 90 Minutes

Thinking about a 90 min or 2 hour session? With me it is not just a Lingam but a full body massage and so the main difference:
after about half an hour of massage to back, back of legs and feet the difference is  -
  • 45 minutes of erotic message laying on your back 
OR
  • well over an hour of my hands moving over the front of your body.

Monday, 20 February 2012

How to book - same day?

Some times I can be available at short notice so it is worth phoning from 8.30 am.
This week I have just had a cancellation (postponement) so also have a free slot Wed morning.
And a free slot Thursday after 12.30ish.
I may also be able to fit in an appointment on Friday....

Next week Wed & Thursday are my best days for appointments at 9am.
xxx

Friday, 17 February 2012

Not to be confused with the buxom lady offering adult services in the south east...

I take a few telephone calls from men who seem to have jotted down a whole bunch of numbers and can't remember who they are calling or any of the details of my service, even though they must have seen my website.

Some men tell me they picked up my number from places that I know I do not advertise!
So just to clarify:
I only offer a lingam massage.  You lie back and enjoy and do nothing.

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Genuine Lingam Massage in Kent

Search "lingam Massage" and you will find controversy and debate as to what it involves although there is no doubt it is a massage of the penis (by definition).  Many wrap it up in spirituality, that is the definition, not the penis! 

There are discussions about it as a health treatment, about certain moves, about the use of herbs.  Depending what you read it sounds very clinical, very complicated, or the practise of strange religions, perhaps cults.  

Then there are the very sexy young escorts who mention lingam massage as part of a long menu of services, pick'n'mix style.

That is why I have gone to great lengths to tell my clients what to expect in my hand, through this blog and my website : www.ukLingamMassage.co.uk

I would describe my session as whole body pampering. The experience will be many things including relaxing, erotic, refreshing.  The client lays back to enjoy a whole body massage.  There is a neutral, natural oil used, no herbs, no chemicals, no lotion.

There is no religion or spirituality added on to my session - the setting is very neutral.  My clients may find & enjoy a spiritual experience, however, due to lengthened stimulation of the senses, which should leave you contented and glad to be alive!

Monday, 30 January 2012

Uk Lingam Massage You Tube Channel

I have just set up a new you tube channel.  Which set me thinking about the sort of short films I could make for you tube - don't hurry off over there I haven't up loaded any clips yet. Perhaps future film clips of erotic massage and Lingam massage taking place in the garden of England just may be something to look forward to in the future.  I will let you know so watch this space.

I set up the channel so I could comment on a clip by my web-designer.  She was commenting on words like "record-player" reveal that she is a golden oldie.

I'm not too keen on the modern lingo that some people use in text and emails. Some of the  three-letter acronyms, however, are very useful, BTW!

Friday, 27 January 2012

Erotic Naturist Massage in Kent

You can forget the cold Kent weather! I am turning the heating up for the next few weeks so my clients should still feel nice and warm as they lay naked  on the massage table.  There is no place for clothes, towels and blankets when you have an erotic Lingam Massage.

I am getting lots of enquiries for later in the day, but my day starts early and ends at 4pm.  Clients must arrive before 2pm.
Those wanting an evening out call will need to give me plenty of notice.

And or those thinking of contacting me. BTW. I don't do text messaging. You need to phone, ideally before 12 noon or email me.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Is a Lingam Massage the Same as a Naturist Massage?

For a naturist massage you are completely naked and the masseuse might also be fully nude. A naturist massage, however, might not include the genitals. A lingam massage, by definition will include the penis in a big way!

For a lingam massage the man is going to be naked, he just might be covered up a little by towels if the room is a bit chilly.  At my place the heating works really well and we will both be really comfortable with nothing on - even in the coldest months and freezing outside temperatures - but extra covers are there just in case.  
When the massage is over some clients may like to lie back and rest which is best done under a blanket.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Looking for an Erotic Massage in Kent, UK?

There are no shortage of ladies (and a few men) who advertise something like this so my naturist Lingam massage is only one of many different options.

Some people the erotic can be code for sexy lingerie and/or full sex, or something more kinky.  That's all fine but not what I offer.

The erotic that I can provide is a feast for the senses. It is total relaxation, lie back and let it happen. Music, smell, feel touched all over.  Feel that these feelings could go on for ever. Feel unhurried.  The slowest and most gentle caressing of your penis ever.  Experience heightened arousal, all over your body.  Forget about the time.

Just lie there. No list of sexual positions to work through, nothing to accomplish.

All you need to decide is whether you would prefer Me to be clothed or naked like you.
Full details of what to expect are on my website, where you can also see several photos of me: http://uklingammassage.co.uk/expectations.php

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Do Men Keep Their Eyes Shut When They Have an Erotic Massage?

Most of my clients keep their eyes closed most of the time. I can't comment on what goes on in other places.

Someone asked me this question the other day. He himself liked to keep his eyes shut and wondered about other men.

Not only do they usually have their eyes shut this man said he thought it would be difficult to keep them open.  I had to agree. When you are laying down. Feeling totally relaxed but having your senses stimulated, music, smell, touch.  They feeling on the surface of your skin and deep inside your body.

My clients have told me that it feels magical because it seems that I must have more than two hands and extremely long arms as I seem to touch their body in so many different places and they are not aware that I am moving around them.

My most recent client confirmed he experienced that sense of sensual arousal moving all over his body as my hands moved from touching his penis to, perhaps, his feet or his chest, his knee, or his neck.

Best of all the heightened arousal that you experience should last and go with you, it can be re-awakened later for your enjoyment alone or with your partner that same evening.

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Why I don't do a One Hour Lingam Massage

As my shortest Lingam massage session is 90 minutes, I was asked today if I could do a shorter session.  You know I have thought about this before and the answer is no. You and I really need to allow 90 minutes and there is the narrowest possibility that if we are really efficient we could be all done in 79!

60 minutes minutes would really be too much of a rush and in fact a session which has you in and out in 60 minutes or less is quite a different service and it is just not what I am aiming for.

I know some men are really pushed for time and would like to fit in a visit to me in their busy day BUT the whole point about what I do requires that you make more time.

If you do not want to spend time relaxing and enjoying a full body massage then I am not the right person for what you are looking for.  There are lots of women who offer sexual services for men in a hurry and one of those ladies might be more suitable. Good luck!

Friday, 13 January 2012

Testimonial Page about Your Erotic Massage Session

I thought comments from people who have seen me might be a good addition to the site.  Leave your comments here if you have visited me for a Lingam Massage. So far there are 3 replies from people who have actually visited me.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Steve's Best Orgasm - Ever

How I enjoyed my first day back to work, after an extra long Christmas break.
 I'll bet there's not many people say that.
 But then there's not many people with a job like mine.
Being a lingam massage practitioner is a quite unique and very enjoyable way to make a living.

Take today, for example, Steve seemed to freeze with an orgasm taking over his whole body - or was it cramp in his foot? Well, it was followed by a period of rest and purring contentment. After much more stroking Steve really was ready for a finale.  His body shock and trembled. He told me it was possibly the best orgasm he had ever experienced, or at least the best he could remember...

I think that is due to taking time, involving the whole body, and taking time.  Did I say that already. Two hours later Steve left as a very happy man.  And I rather suspect he is also going to be in the mood for enjoying some great sex later tonight.